All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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