Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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