Can i not drive my cunt home
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
