I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize