I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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