Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I touched a dick in church today
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize