I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
