I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
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