That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
