Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
