YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
