When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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