Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
