I got chris browned last night
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
is this the sara with the beer cane?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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