K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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