so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
