I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Welp...herpes.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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