i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i think i just lost a toe
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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