she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
