i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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