Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
