So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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