she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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