apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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