Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
