im gay
i know
yea but for you.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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