I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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