Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
