shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm just crazy horny about you
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
