I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
