So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
