it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Ketchup is God's man juice
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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