he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
