Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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