Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
