i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
