I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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