I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
