I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
