Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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