I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
