think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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