I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
