he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
