so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
