just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We have started to decorate penises.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I need to align my fucking chakras
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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