I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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