i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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