I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
