Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
