It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize