Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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