I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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