That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize