They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
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