idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
