i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize