We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
